Introducing the most delusional album in the history of pop: The Abbey Road Sessions by… Kylie Minogue


We’re not saying you couldn’t make it up, but you certainly WOULDN’T make it up. Also, you’d think that Kylie would self-combust walking through the hallowed portals of the legendary recording studio. Apparently not.

What it is is… sixteen of Kylie’s ‘classic’ recordings – some of which she was actually present for – have been tampered with and had a full orchestra added to. It’s all part of the quality revolution that has seen cappuccinos brought to each and every high street in the country.

The ‘classics’ include such classics as ‘On A Night Like This’, ‘Hand On Your Heart’, ‘Finer Feelings’ and ‘The Locomotion’ (which was actually by Little Eva but let’s not stand on ceremony) and Titch will be showcasing some of them to all the sad, sorry suckers who have bought tickets to Proms in the Park this Saturday.

The album itself will be released on many formats, including processed cheese slices, at the end of October.

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Rating: 2.8/10 (46 votes cast)

Introducing the most delusional album in the history of pop: The Abbey Road Sessions by... Kylie Minogue, 2.8 out of 10 based on 46 ratings

More dolly #content:

23 comments to “Introducing the most delusional album in the history of pop: The Abbey Road Sessions by… Kylie Minogue”

  1. The new version of The Loco-motion sounds amazing.
    Nice way to celebrate a 25 year recording career with the song that started it all.

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (10 votes cast)
  2. Oh dear god. Who does she think she is, holding that mic – Billie Holiday?

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    Rating: 1.4/5 (19 votes cast)
  3. WOW can’t wait!!! love me some Kylie.. and yep.. most of her hits ARE classics. Can’t wait to hear new versions of Confide in Me and Where the Wild Roses Grow

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    Rating: 4.8/5 (16 votes cast)
  4. this ‘article’ is an absolute bullshit

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    Rating: 4.6/5 (18 votes cast)
  5. A review and even stars on an album that hasn’t even been released or even heard – I wish i had such telepathic powers and foresight – outstanding piece of writing.

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    Rating: 4.7/5 (15 votes cast)
  6. I think the stars are user ratings on the article rather than a star rating on the album as all the features have those stars and you can fill them in yourself. Might be wrong.

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (2 votes cast)
  7. I love how all the Kylie fans have come out of the woodwork. Precious lot, aren’t you? Can’t say a single bad thing about the woman without you spitting your dummies out.

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    Rating: 1.3/5 (16 votes cast)
  8. Tossers! So you’ve heard it?

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    Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)
  9. You’re not allowed to ever say anything negative about Kylie, ever – didn’t you know that Peter? She’s untouchable. It’s like, law or something.

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    Rating: 2.1/5 (7 votes cast)
  10. it’s gotta be better than MDNA…

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    Rating: 4.6/5 (10 votes cast)
  11. aren’t the gays a bitchy lot…

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    Rating: 3.3/5 (7 votes cast)
  12. You are a complete idiot and clearly know nothing about Kylie and this release. Just because you assume all popstars are talentless products doesn’t mean they all are. Kylie has been in the industry for 25 YEARS, performs 25 song setlists LIVE on her world tours and is still going strong. So please give up on writing because all your attempts to be clever failed miserably and show you don’t even do your research.

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (7 votes cast)
  13. A failed review not album. How can a muppet review something not even released to media? Don’t judge a book by its cover. Your review is what lacks substance and comes across as a vile person with an opinion from someone in 1987 when Kylie was still in dungarees. Get a grip and don’t diss 40,000 plus people that bought tickets to see Kylie headline the proms!

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (5 votes cast)
  14. Hahahhha, omg…this site is full of shit! Get a life!
    Can’t wait for the album!
    :):):)

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (4 votes cast)
  15. You know 25 years ago people were saying we won’t care what this girl is doing after her 5 mins are up. its been 25 years 11 albums 70million albums sold and huge stadiume tours sell outs later. are you still waiting?

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (3 votes cast)
  16. I should imagine it might sound something like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQYgFw7RgEQ

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
  17. Oh Kinell, that is utter genius. Made my morning.
    And in other news, Brandon… just because you sell a lot doesn’t make you good. Look at Justin Bieber.

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (2 votes cast)
  18. Why is everyone saying this is a review when it’s just a news story?

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    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  19. When using google to find information on the album I came acros….. this. I wonder what could damage someones ego so badly that it triggered one to creating a website like this.
    I mean for real, the album’s not even out.
    Someone’s in need of attention…. desperatly.

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
  20. What an extremely badly written review.

    Why would one “think that Kylie would self-combust walking through the hallowed portals of the legendary recording studio”…do explain. This really is the most absolute drivell!

    Indeed, the “reviewer” states “some {of the tracks] of which she was actually present for – have been tampered with and had a full orchestra added to”. In what way have they been “tampered” with???? This is really just the writer’s opinion but not backed up by any facts. Moreover all of the tracks have been re-recorded with vocals by Kylie Minogue. As a result, she was present for all – and not “some”.

    Incidently, what have cappuchinos being “brought to each and every high street in the country” got to do with this album. Furthermore, people who have bought tickets to see the BBC Orchestra perform are “sad, sorry, suckers”?????…I think that comment does not even warrant a response!

    Perhaps the writer was intending to be funny and as a result hoping to come accross clever…but he/she have shown bad writing and wrong facts. I mean nobody is disbuting Locomotion was covered by Little Eva (why would a cover of an original song be a problem?).

    This piece is clearly not a review and conveys, for whatever reason, a highly personal and vindictive opinion of the singer.

    Lastly, why doesn’t the writer put his/her name to this piece. Even better, why don’t they reply….!!

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (2 votes cast)
  21. Kylie Minogue fans scare me. What medication are they on?

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
  22. Whose teeth is Kylie wearing?

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
  23. This debate/bitchfest has had me cracking up for 2 days.
    I personally quite like Kylie’s stuff (confide in me on wards)but wouldn’t start frothing at the gash over a bit of piss taking, and Gnash you had me laughing my head off at that one.

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