Yes, it’s our old favourite, Lillian Ladele, the Christian whose beliefs are so strong she cannot bring herself to carry out her job but can still somehow fuck around without being married.
Yes, despite the fact that Jesus never found it necessary to mention a single word about homosexuality, LL (honey, that weave!) cannot keep her lunch down if she has to read out a few words in front of gay couples in order to officiate over their civil partnerships. Can’t do it, sorry. Comes out in hives. Sweats heavily. Froths at the mouth and the fanny.
Strangely – and you know how God moves in mysterious ways, a bit like Jamiroquai – as a never-married single mother, she can have sex outside marriage, even though Jesus had a whole lot to say about that. It makes sense to the religiouses: their logic is different to regular people’s.
Anyways… LL (honey, that WEAVE! Get a lace-front, what’s the matter with you?) was sacked from her job because *checks notes* she refused to DO her job. Having dragged it through every court in the land – at the expense of that Christian organisation who thinks it’s better to waste money on this than on those pesky poor – has taken it to European courts. Well, it’s a nice bit of a holiday when you’re out of work, isn’t it?
Accompanying her to the European Court of Human Rights is Gary McFarlane, the relationships counsellor who can’t bring himself to give relationship advice to gays (can you imagine being sent to him for help?) and Shirley Chaplin, the nurse who’d rather have a patient’s eye out than pop her crucifix inside her blouse.
The government has said that because it doesn’t say in the Bible that you have to wear a cross, you can make do without, which has led the Christians to protest that they shouldn’t be discriminated against just because they are a more ‘tolerant’ religion. Yeah, ask LL and Gary McF how tolerant they’re feeling as soon as it comes to earning an honest day’s pay.
She's back! The homophobe - with a bad weave! - who would not let it lie.,