Clip in a phony pony, snap on your Spanx… it’s Madonna’s Hard Candy work-out video!

Feeling portly? Out of shape? Untoned? Unloved? Unlovable? Dead on the inside? Flat feet? Frizz-out hair? Bee Oh?

Well, you don’t have to put up with being a regular civilian any damn longer thanks to this little baby *holds up set of DVDs with nails that have been French manicured to within an inch of ANYONE’S life*

Now, you too can be five foot tall, with veiny arms and a seriously bad attitude and it’s all down to Madonna’s Hard Candy ‘Addicted to Sweat’ (well, we wouldn’t go that far) work-out regime. All you’ll need is something everyone has at home – a towel (yes, there are exercises that you do with a towel) – and some high-concept, LA Gear-inspired outfits, preferably in black, some sports-appropriate hair-extensions, a full face of make up… oh and the range of Hard Candy DVDs. But don’t take our word for it, hear what Madonna’s kicky work-out instructress has to say on the matter of the exact same dance work-out that Madonna does every day.

And she didn’t even have to blow up like Claire off-of Steps/Kerry Katona for a ‘before’ shot either.

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Clip in a phony pony, snap on your Spanx... it's Madonna's Hard Candy work-out video!, 10.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating

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One comment to “Clip in a phony pony, snap on your Spanx… it’s Madonna’s Hard Candy work-out video!”

  1. Is it just me or do all these paintings they’re using as promo shots for her these days make it look like she has braces on her teeth? Babs, off of delicate lighting, would be impressed/jealous.

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