Feeling portly? Out of shape? Untoned? Unloved? Unlovable? Dead on the inside? Flat feet? Frizz-out hair? Bee Oh?
Well, you don’t have to put up with being a regular civilian any damn longer thanks to this little baby *holds up set of DVDs with nails that have been French manicured to within an inch of ANYONE’S life*
Now, you too can be five foot tall, with veiny arms and a seriously bad attitude and it’s all down to Madonna’s Hard Candy ‘Addicted to Sweat’ (well, we wouldn’t go that far) work-out regime. All you’ll need is something everyone has at home – a towel (yes, there are exercises that you do with a towel) – and some high-concept, LA Gear-inspired outfits, preferably in black, some sports-appropriate hair-extensions, a full face of make up… oh and the range of Hard Candy DVDs. But don’t take our word for it, hear what Madonna’s kicky work-out instructress has to say on the matter of the exact same dance work-out that Madonna does every day.
And she didn’t even have to blow up like Claire off-of Steps/Kerry Katona for a ‘before’ shot either.
Clip in a phony pony, snap on your Spanx... it's Madonna's Hard Candy work-out video!,