Former Archbishop of Canterbury Lord Carey has got his off-white bikini-briefs in a twist over a speech Nick Clegg was to give about gay marriage. We’d rather he paid more attention to dental well-being but sometimes life just isn’t fair.
In an early draft of the speech released to the press, Clegg called opponents of gay marriage ‘bigots’. Because they are bigots. But the bigots were having none of it.
By the time Clegg gave the speech, the term ‘bigot’ was removed. But the bigots still ain’t happy. The bigots are incandescent. The bigots’ bingo-winged arms? Flailing, they are. Flailing.
‘To be called a bigot is a very offensive statement,’ said Lord Carey, a right cunt. ‘I would ask him to recall it. There are issues here that demand very serious debate.’
The ‘issues here’ are/is gay marriage. The ‘debate’ we’re supposed to take ‘seriously’ – from a man who believes the Angel Gabriel floated down on a Ryvita biscuit, sprinkled moon dust in some bird’s hair and hey presto, preggars! – is about whether gay people deserve equal rights. Lady Carey – whose seat in the House of Lords is predicated on a work of fiction that has as much credence as The Hobbit (and he to talk about ‘serious debate’!) – doesn’t believe gays do deserve equal rights. That’s because he’s a bigot.
The original speech went thusly:
‘Continued trouble in the economy gives the bigots a stick to beat us with, as they demand we “postpone” the equalities agenda in order to deal with “the things people really care about”.’
Then it was changed to this:
‘Continued trouble in the economy leads some people to demand we “postpone” the equalities agenda in order to deal with “the things people really care about”.’
Clegg’s people – eyes rolling – have had to go about denying and retracting and making very important phone calls and seeing who can do that thing with their tongues, just so the crazies don’t rip Clegg a new arsehole.
‘This was not something the deputy prime minister has said,’ said one of the people.
‘It’s not the kind of word that I would use,’ said *checks notes* Clegg.
Conservative MP Peter Bone, still reeling from having Bone as a surname, said, ‘Nick Clegg has got to explain himself and apologise very rapidly,’ adding he was not ‘fit and proper to be deputy prime minister.’
Peter Bone, as luck would have it, is also a homophobic cunt. With the loveliest come-to-bum eyes.
Now this, ladies, gentlemen and undecided, is serious debate…
'To be called a bigot is very offensive' says homophobic bigot Lord Carey. ,