According to the highly helpful, nay handy, Malaysian Education Ministry, there are some tell-tale signs that your son is a gay. A homosexual one. And we’re not just talking about copies of Inches under his matress and a boy in his bed.
Does he, for instance, have a muscular body? Check. Does he like showing off that muscular body by wearing V-necks and sleeveless clothes? Jumpsuits even? Check. Does he prefer tight and light-coloured clothes? Is he, as we speak, stitching lace borders to his Abercrombie & Fitch sweat pants? Is he wearing a bra? Does he like to bring big handbags, similar to those used by women, when hanging out? (Only some of these are jokes by the way).
And finally, without a word of a lie, according to these official guidelines, is he attracted to men? ‘Once the children have these symptoms,’ it goes on, ‘immediate attention should be given.’ Because gays thrive on attention.
Anyway, now you know. If you have a juvenile cross-dressing dolly lugging around a big handbag and lusting over men hanging around your homo, he may be a gay. Get a lock on your bedroom door and spray Oust! regularly.
Is your male child attracted to men? Then he may be gay. Some advice for parents.,