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Wales’s finest.


These are the participants in new reality show, The Valleys, which follows the lives of a bunch of trouts in the Welsh *checks notes* valleys as they go around bumming each other and applying Millionize mascara to the tips of their penises.

Clockwise from the top left, they are Trout 1, Trout 2, Trout 3, Trout 4,’That young fella off Corrie, only more tanned’, ‘Ears’, ‘T-shirt much?’, and The Only Bummable One.

Trout 1 is a hairdresser, which is ironic or something. Trout 2 probably thinks she looks like Rita Ora only, no. Trout 3 is ‘the pretty one’ only, no. Trout 4’s fringe suggests she don’t take no shit, and Trout 4 still thinks those shoes are a good idea.


Turns out The Only Bummable One is an actual gay, which we could’ve guessed because he’s got tender bottom written all over him. That and the blue chinos. Someone at some point will say something about ‘the only gay in the village’, because they’re cunts like that.

All of Twitter was a-buzz when the first show aired, oh, whenever it aired. Up in arms, they were. Up in arms.

In conclusion, these people are doing for Wales what Megan Stammers’ boyfriend has done for private Maths tuition.

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Rating: 8.2/10 (5 votes cast)

Wales's finest., 8.2 out of 10 based on 5 ratings

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One comment to “Wales’s finest.”

  1. I’m from the valleys – please don’t think that we’re all like these fugly cunts!

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)

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