If you go down to the woods today, on one of those crappy Hollywood Homes Tours, which really are crappy, you’ll be sure of a big surprise. David Beckham in his pants. See, surprise!

David Beckham in pants

 

When we last went on a tour of the Hollywood Homes, which was also our first time and done mostly because of the lure of the mister-sister at the wheel, we came across a bunch of crappy faux-Spanish villas and mock-Tudor monstrosities belonging to the likes of… we forget. People off the telly, that sort of thing. Mister-sister did, however, excitedly point out the roof of the Beckhams’ gaff, which was next door to the roof of Tom Cruise’s gaff. We were too busy painting our nails to look up.

If only we were on this Hollywood Homes Tour, however. Wait, that deserves capitals. IF ONLY WE WERE ON THIS HOLLYWOOD HOMES TOUR, HOWEVER. Because these lucky real estate voyeurs, upon swishing past the Beckhams bit of the tour, not only got a slice of roof but David Beckham himself. Again, capitals. BUT DAVID BECKHAM HIMSELF. The real one. In naught but his scanties. It transpires, upon in-depth research, that David Beckham was in the midst of an underwear shoot for Chit Chat magazine and was caught legging it back inside during takes. ‘Takes’ is an industry term. It’s a lot to take on board, we know.

Enjoy the results. We’re busy scrounging around for scraps of interdolly on a Virgin train. Could you imagine if we were on a FirstGroup!

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If you go down to the woods today, on one of those crappy Hollywood Homes Tours, which really are crappy, you'll be sure of a big surprise. David Beckham in his pants. See, surprise!, 9.5 out of 10 based on 4 ratings

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One comment to “If you go down to the woods today, on one of those crappy Hollywood Homes Tours, which really are crappy, you’ll be sure of a big surprise. David Beckham in his pants. See, surprise!”

  1. He actually looks far better than he does in the airbrushed versions that make it to the streets/pages. Definition, I believe is the term.

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