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Kate Moss… speaks! And now we know why she shouldn’t.

She is famed – famous even – for keeping it buttoned. Yes, she may be running all over town getting the London look (aka getting pissed), getting snapped taking cocaine, hanging out with the likes of Sir Philip Green and generally being degenerate on a fabulous international scale but – like Patsy in Ab Fab – Kate Moss has never spoken of these things, a knack she apparently got from Johnny Depp, who she once dated.

But now the greatest supermodel since all those great supermodels of the 90s has spoken. And spoken to Vanity Fair. ‘I had a nervous breakdown when I was 17 or 18, when I had to go and work with Marky Mark and Herb Ritts,’ she has said. ‘It didn’t feel like me at all. I felt really bad straddling this buff guy.’ You’re going to have a nervous breakdown because you have to straddle a hot guy? Honey, we thought you were made of sterner stuff. You should have just got a bit of that London look inside of you.

‘I couldn’t get out of bed for two weeks!’ Really? What are you, Chantelle Houghton? ‘I thought I was going to die.’ Die? Over a photoshoot with Marky fricking Mark? ‘I went to the doctor and he said, ‘I’ll give you some Valium,’ and Francesca Sorrenti [Moss’s friend and mother of Mario Sorrenti], thank God, said, ‘You’re not taking that’.’ Valium? Thank god? You’re not taking that? We have an inkling you’ve been taking something a little more potent than mamma’s little helper, love.

Now you know why, if you should become a famous supermodel, you should never speak. Not even to Vanity Fair. It never turns out well.

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