Alan Shearer, anyone?

Alan Shearer

We’re not gonna lie, we would. Even though he looks like a cross between that shouty bald primordial-sized fella off The One Show and that narrow-shouldered bald fella off the show that used to be called Something for the Weekend with that wet slanket Louise Eternal Nerdlings and that bald fella who presents Masterchef despite knowing fuck all about food and the 17 gentleman callers currently queuing outside Mr Topper’s to relieve themselves of £9, we totally would. And that’s before we’ve even had chance to talk about how red totally makes his balls pop.

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2 comments to “Alan Shearer, anyone?”

  1. Being from the New World, I have no idea who this is…but yes…hells yes!

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  2. He’s a footballer from the last century, Joe. And yeah, I’m with you. He was hot in that rough/could barely string a sentence together/northern English working class kind of way. Still is, it seems.

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