Meet Rebecca Kadaga, Speaker of the Ugandan Parliament. This is her, slipping off her designer-imposter high back chair whilst delivering the news that her country’s government will pass the ‘Kill The Gays’ bill at the end of the year. This despite condemnation from everyone in the world who isn’t a cunt.
Rebecca – ‘Bareback Becks’ to her lesbean lovers (honey, the hair!) – has called the bill a ‘Christmas gift’ to her nation. Most of the Ugandan population has actually asked Santa for a doll, a drum and water that doesn’t taste of actual shit but no, the memo she got from the Baby Jesus whilst riding free-style on that sunbeam was that all the gays should die. Or at the very least get life-imprisonment, goddammit!
The law, which will tackle the ‘serious threat’ posed by ‘mos – because last we heard it was an eye for good lighting that launched the atomic bomb – will extend the current criminalization of homosexuality by dividing it into two handy sections:
1) Aggravated Homosexuality: this is defined as gay acts committed by parents, figures of authority, HIV+ people, paedophiles and repeat offenders (of what?), and is punishable by death.
2) Offense of Homosexuality: this includes same-sex sexual acts (hot!), or being in a gay relationship (hot-ish!). This, ladies and germs, is punishable by life imprisonment.
Another lawmaker in Uganda, one Atim Ogwal Cecilia Barbara – who can be seen below doing an impression of a zeppelin trying to squeeze into a condom tied with a dainty bow – has suggested the bill go Africa-wide.
‘Africa must stand up. We must pass a resolution condemning homosexuality because it is not an African culture.’
So there you have it in crazy-as-a-box-of-weaves nutshell.
Barack Obama, meanwhile, has described the bill as ‘odious’, Canadian Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird says it is ‘vile, abhorrent, and offends decency’ whilst the UK has threatened ‘severe reductions in aid’ should the bill be passed. ‘Severe reductions’? Cut the cord! If it was good enough for apartheid…
This delightful woman wants all gays to die. ,