This is David Haye, a famous. He is currently in the jungle doing that I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Some Work, as presented by the poor man’s Morecambe and Wise, Forehead and Dec.
We’re not watching it – not even to shout obscenities at fame whore Nadine Dorries – because we’re weeks behind The Antiques Roadshow let alone some bag o’ shite fronted by primordial mediocrities, and those Queen Anne sideboards wait for no man!
Oh fuck it, we were going to waffle a little more but David Haye’s ass waits for no man. Neither does his arse.
Oi! David Haye! Touch the ground, turn around!,