Oh, Bradley Cooper… we have a fake laugh with your name all over it.


This is Bradley Cooper on Ellen, who is not only a lesbian but a show.

He was on Ellen promoting something, but unlike in the good ol’ days (the same days you could leave your back door open and get smallpox after surprise sex with a Kray) when famouses actually held adult conversations to earn their godforsaken press, alls he had to do was take part is some skit. These skits have a lot to answer for. Graham Norton’s show for one.

Today’s skit on Ellen – which is less a show, more a bunch of shouting – involved him ‘revealing’ he had three superfluous nipples. Can you imagine how much the people who came up with this hilarious skit got paid? Makes us want to hug Starbucks…

And then… oh no, that’s it. Turns out Bradley Cooper doesn’t have three superfluous nipples. It was a joke!

Then the audience laughed. Almost like something really funny had happened.

In other breaking news, Bradley Cooper has five nipples. Oh no, sorry. Our cursor just jumped to the top of the page again.

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