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‘I don’t do the gay guys man. I don’t do that. No, we don’t got no gay people on the team. Can’t be with that sweet stuff.’

These are the words of Chris Culliver – here seen wearing a bubble-gum pink… what are we calling this, dolly? – who is a cornerback for the San Francisco 49ers. The latter part of that sentence means nothing to us.

These sparkling words came after he was asked about gays in sports. Come back to us when you learn to form a proper sentence, then we might rip you a new arsehole. But only once you’ve taken off those ridiculous clothes.

In the meantime, this sweet stuff is going to look at Chris Culliver’s sweet stuff… (more…)

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The new Superman is such a dolly! Look at her!


Man of Steel? We’ll be the judge of that.

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This woman says that if you dare to rubbish gays, the gays rubbish you. For that reason alone we declare her ‘Cunt of the Day’.

This trout, known locally as Lavinia Sealy – which is apparently a name – is the Conservative Chairwoman of Surrey County Council. Poor bastards.

Lavinia Sealy is a homophobe. That means one who fears gays, which she does. She thinks letting them get married is a danger to children. As opposed to homophobia, which is perfectly benign.

‘It is a question of our natural beings,’ began Lavinia, whilst working a heavily manicured finger through her silver-tipped bangs.

‘It is a question of being educated about our whole humanity, the history of humanity,’ she continued, whilst giving the slutty-eye to the Neanderthal man in her Horrible Histories hard-back.

‘Playing around with that just from the point of view of an equalisation doesn’t make sense for families or for children,’ she said, without giving a flying fuck about making sense.

‘We should not fiddle around with medical ethics and decide that actually we can… have children coming out of a gay couple.’

We don’t think they just pop out.

‘I know it has been done but I think it’s very questionable indeed and the consequences are for children and families.’

‘It’s a bit Orwellian.’

It’s not though, is it, Lavinia?

‘There are lots of gays in the media that if anybody speaks out, you’re rubbished.’


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Look at this dolly. He is our Cunt of the Day.

This is Salvatore J. Cordileone, Catholic Archbishop of San Francisco, seen wearing all the make-up Mac ever made. Then some Bobbi Brown Illuminating Bronzer for that just stepped out of a concessions counter look.

But you’ll never guess what… he’s not in favour of equal marriage. We’d fall off our designer-imposter chair were in not for the fact that we just haven’t got the time.

Rolling out all the usual chestnuts, albeit with a sneaky twist, Salvatore J. Cordileone (try saying that with a mouthful of penis) thinks that letting people of the same sex who love each other marry and then, 179 hail Marys let them adopt the children of, say, a couple of heterosexual junkies, will bring down civilisation. So far, so must try harder.

But here’s that twist. Salvatore J. Cordileone, hell bent on thinking constantly about men in their natural state, has compared equal marriage to male breastfeeding.

In an interview with the Catholic Herald, which fits into your life and your cassock, he said, ‘the truth is clear’.

As is the irony.

‘Wanting children to be connected to a mother and father discriminates against no one. Every child has a father and a mother.’

Yes, but not necessarily alive and/or sane.

‘Either you support the only institution that connects a child with their father and mother or you don’t.’

We think he’s talking about straight marriage. Or McDonald’s Happy Meals.

‘If you use theology, you will play into their hands and they will say you use religion to control people. Marriage isn’t primarily in theology, marriage is in nature. Theology builds on the natural institution, giving us a deeper mystical and supernatural sense of its meaning.’

By ‘their’ he means the gays. He really overestimates our interest in fairy tales.

‘Legislating for the right for people of the same sex to marry is like legalising male breastfeeding.’

See, told you!



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This is what is known in show business as an utter prick.

Justin Bieber – who clearly doesn’t have enough people around him who use the ‘no’ word – is a tip-top starlet whose mother is one of those pro-life morons. The apple doesn’t fall far from the moose, etc.

Justin Bieber favours the sartorial style popularized by prisoners with a penchant for bumming. The lower you go, the bigger the penchant. We’re sure his mother approves.

As for the over-sized cap placed on the head just so, grow up.

As for the six pack, yes we know. You’re barely knee-high to a pop sock so a low BMI is hardly something to show off about.

As for the universal sign of persecution complex around your neck, Jesus doesn’t want you for a sunbeam but those nice men down the Vatican probably do.

In conclusion, we’ll leave it to the glorious Marlena Shaw to take the words right out of our mouth…




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We have found early footage of James Arthur’s showbiz career

He’s the tall guy on the right. Dapper!

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Anthony Ogogo’s penis. Well, mostly his balls.

This is Anthony Ogogo, the main reason to watch Splash. We think there’s an exclamation mark missing.

Anthony Ogogo is no longer in Splash, with or without an exclamation mark, because the pressure of hitting the water has hurt his foot or his leg or his balls.

There is now little reason to watch Splash, unless of course you enjoy the irritant known as Linda Barker (how Yorkshire can one actually get?) or you enjoy watching a gay dollying around in Speedos.


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Ever heard of the word ‘no’?

Bishop Luigi Padovese

A man who murdered a Catholic priest in Turkey has had his sentence reduced from life to 15 years after saying it was ‘Gay panic, m’lud. Apples and pears, apples and pears.’

Gay panic – which isn’t even a boy band – can be used in some retarded countries to get a less stiff sentence.

Murat Alton – we tried to find a picture but there are, like, a million Murat Altons and time waits for no gay – stabbed Bishop Luigi Padovese to death after the latter suggested they start a homosexual affair, which is our favourite kind of affair.

At least he bloody asked.

Instead of saying, ‘No thanks, strictly flange over here, dear,’ Murat – who was employed by Luigi as his Rosario – decided to stab him to death.

‘I killed him because there was a reason. Why should I have killed him otherwise?’ asked Rosario, serious as a heart attack.

It is not known whether Turkey also has ‘black panic’, ‘Jew panic’ or ‘cunt panic’ in its legal constitution.

Don’t really know what a legal constitution is either but it sounded right at the time.



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