No more spell-making – sorry, mass – for the dirty gays, says the Archdolly of Westminster


Get her!

Vincent Nichols – who isn’t afraid of colour or pictures of people on his bonnets – has said that the gays can no longer celebrate mass in Soho. Which, to us, seems cause for celebration in itself, especially considering how many more fun things there are to get up to in London’s notorious ‘pink light’ district.

Ms. Nichols, pictured here in day-wear (‘This old thing?’ he said when we commented on it. ‘I only wear it when I don’t care how I look…’), has decreed in the way that church dollies love to do, that the gays may no longer have their special ‘Soho masses’, designed to combat the isolation the Catholic Church has spent centuries trying to instil (so it kind of makes sense).

He feels it’s time ‘for a new phase’ (his PR obviously let the word ‘phase’ slip through, not the best word to use when talking about the gays), one presumably where the gays can go fuck themselves.

It is a shame for those gays that need to see the swish of something heavily embroidered and fill their nostrils with holy smoke but bearing in mind that they must actually need their heads tested, we’re going to save our tears for more deserving causes.

But it certainly looks like the Catholic Church is looking for a fight with rainbow gentlemen of all hues. Just as long as they know that we will only be pushed so far before we scream the house down.

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