Gay bishops now kosher! You can wear the sparkles but you have to promise not to bum.


Ooh, bona!

The top dollies at Her Majesty’s Church of England have decided that the moratorium on gay bishops should end. *Church dollies the length and breadth of the realm throw up their cassocks in jubilation*

But hold your horses. Not all is rosy. Churchmen of a gay fragrance may aspire to the office of bishop and all the fancywear and bonnetry that such high office involves BUT – and it’s a big but, just one ‘t’ – they may be civil partnered but they must promise – hand on heart, hand on bible even! – to be celibate. Bearing in mind that marriage is usually the end of a healthy (or even an unhealthy) sex life anyway, that may be no big bar, though it does rather impose celibacy on the innocent party in that relationship, while the guilty party has access to bevy-loads of choirboys.

The Church. Such a boon to society. Now go and help the poor, you lazy fuckers. It was, after all, Jesus’s main message, not that we wish to drag Jesus into these tawdry wranglings.

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