Ann Widdecombe – here seen as her God intended – in between being a fame whore and a paranoid Christian and/or moron, is a homophobe*. It leaves nothing else in her virginal schedule.
Her favourite thing in the whole wide world is to combine all three, hence a little speech she gave to some poor bastards at Plymouth University who actually thought they’d bought tickets to a live recording of Take The High Road, about how Christians are being victimized to the extent that they will soon be put in jail just for believing in the little baby Jesus, or chorizo, we weren’t quite listening. More worryingly, she said, clutching her vagina, Christians like her – with their deeply held prejudices – would be put in jail if they refused to fall in line with that, yes, that’s right, all together now, gay magenta!
‘It will be nearly impossible to be a registrar as a Christian due to the new gay marriage legislation. And a Christian won’t be able to be a teacher in a secular school if they refuse to promote gay marriage and nor can they work as a gynaecologist if they disagree with abortion.’
Oh dollies, you can believe there’s a Nespresso coffee machine in the sky but keep it away from our penises!
‘I think it could be quite possible that at some stage in the future someone in Britain will be imprisoned for preferring Church dogma to the way of the state.’
Oh Ann. As anyone who is anyone knows, that’s actually not the case if you cared for one cotton spittin’ minute to actually look at the facts. No one is being forced to do anything. Churches won’t be forced to conduct gay marriages if they don’t want to (could you imagine the death stares?) and teachers won’t be forced to draw diagrams of same-sex double penetration, more’s the pity. They will just be made to treat gay people with the same goddamn respect they get from any fan on the street. Mmmkay?
*Christ, we missed out bat shit ugly. And it was there staring us in the face the whole time!