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Sandi Toksvig is this week’s Hilary Mantel.


Oh, Sandi.

Sandi Toksvig, pocket-sized pocket, appears to have jumped on the anti-Kate Middleton bandwagon, mostly because a journalist from the Observer made her.

Asking about Kate Middleton, middle-class doer-weller, Sandi Toksvig went into what can only be described as a minor discussion about how Kate doesn’t appear to have any opinions. Mostly because it’s her job as future Queen not to, but there wasn’t enough room to add that bit. And besides, doesn’t quite grab the Daily Cunt’s dead heart with such zeal when you include the full story.

‘Kate Middleton is not enough for me,’ said Sandi, whilst nibbling on a humble salad.

‘We used to admire women who got their place in life through marriage and having children, but I like to think we’ve grown up a bit. I can’t think of a single opinion she holds – it’s very Jane Austen.’

It’s quite possible that Sandi’s follow-up line was, ‘She could be a genius for all we know. God knows she got to a decent university, which is more than can be said about Princess Diana and her one O’Level in tilting your head just so.’

But we’ll never know. Instead, we just think Sandi’s being a bit naive, which we know she ain’t. Not in a month of Mothering mothers.

But in a bizarre twist to this tale, Sandi came out in intellectual, and bumming, support of Cheryl Cole, well-known fame whore, loud-mouth, and Chupa Chup refuser.

‘Cheryl Cole is one of the few incredibly famous people who still seems to say what they think. I really like that, plus I do fancy her a bit.’

The latter we fathom, even if we are strictly dickly, but bearing in mind Cheryl is a walking, talking, L’Oreal-pushing PR campaign we’d like to deduct one point from our Sandi love chart. That is until the next series of The News Quiz starts. Or that thing she does with furniture.

 

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