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The Queen has those scented stick things. And pebbles. Lots of pebbles.


The Queen has those scented stick things. And pebbles. Lots of pebbles.

It is being described as an extraordinary insight into the private life of the world’s most famous woman. What it is is an ITV1 show about the world’s most famous woman.

In it, we get to see Her Maj going about her business as a working gran at Balmoral, including enduring yet another bloody Prime Minister and, you know, Ocado deliveries, fan mail from tip-top starlets, flicking through Chit Chat magazine, that sort of thing.

To the left, to the left of this picture you will see Her Maj in her Balmoral sitting room in sensible kitten heels followed by one of those electric fires that begins to smell of toast if you’re not careful followed by some Eton twat who gets into power if you’re not careful, neatly rounded off by a table full of bric ‘n’ brac ‘n’ nic ‘n’ nac ‘n’ a gonk. N’ those scented sticks that don’t even mask unwanted odours let alone eliminate them.

Various fannies are frothing as we speak. ‘No wonder she has to use an electric fire, what with pensioners’ fuel allowances these days!’ they’re flapping. Some people are the fucking Queen, get over it!

Under here you will see that table from a different angle. In a revelation that is shaking the House of Windsor to its very core, it reveals pebbles, and lots of them. That Prince Edward is like a bloody magpie.


Pebbles. Lots of pebbles.

Our Queen is on ITV1 this Sunday at 8pm. True story.

 

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4 comments to “The Queen has those scented stick things. And pebbles. Lots of pebbles.”

  1. Wonder if Her Maj ever plays that piano? Maybe bashes out Choptsticks when she’s bored of an afternoon…

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  2. I love this on so many levels.

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  3. I have to say I’m impressed by how many different TV show references you managed to squeeze into this… what are we calling it? article?

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  4. Whats with all the pictures of oneself? Vain much, Ma’am? (In the nicest way possible)

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