We’ve not heard from these god-fearing trouts in a while. Let’s hear from them now.


Deeply held homophobia

You remember Peter and Hazelmary Bull, right? The Jesus-pests who refused to give shelter to a walkin’, talkin’ gay couple at their B&B in Cornwall owing to their deeply held homophobia, who subsequently got sued by our bum-boys because refusing a public service to someone owing to deeply held cuntiness is against the law? ‘Member? Well, their fannies are still frothing at the very gay agenda of it all.

Such is their devotion to the teachings of the bible, especially the bits where it says fuck all about same-sex penetration but rather a lot about white polyester cowl neck blousons made by five-year-olds (such tiny hands!) in a Bangladeshi basement straight from the Hans Fritzl catalogue, that they have turned their B&B into a not-for-profit so that they can – wait for it! – legally be cunts. And they did this with help from none other than The Christian Institute, which is indeed a contradiction in terms.

‘The Christian Institute advised us on how to form a limited company, which we were able to do by stating in the articles of the company that anyone coming to stay here would be expected to abide by our bible-based beliefs.’

Why, only last week they saw a young maiden skip past the parish church while surfing her crimson wave and demanded an immediate execution using only the rough side of pebbles and other sundries.

 

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One comment to “We’ve not heard from these god-fearing trouts in a while. Let’s hear from them now.”

  1. what person with eyes would want to stay in their hostel anyway? can you imagine coming downstairs for your brekkie and seeing THOSE faces first thing in the morning?

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