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Is it Cerrone? Is it Giorgio Moroder? No, it’s Pet Shop Boys!

As produced by Confessions On A Dancefloor producer Stuart Price, who once told us about a party where Donatella Versace was… actually, we promised we would never tell and we are as good as our word.

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Rating: 10.0/10 (4 votes cast)

Chris Martin. Oh go on then.


Chris Martin. Oh go on then.

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Rating: 9.6/10 (5 votes cast)

A little VPL courtesy of Ben Foden (okay, we were there, it was a lot)


A little VPL courtesy of Ben Foden (okay, we were there, it was a lot)

And a little interview courtesy of *checks front of hand; checks back of hand*, oh, us!

And the shots that didn’t make it through for reasons of goddamn decency? We’re still slipping off our designer-imposter chair…

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Rating: 9.5/10 (4 votes cast)

Some inspiring words from Jason Collins, no relation to Joan and Jackie (as far as we’re aware)


Smiley

In the retardedly homophobic world of American sports (rounders, netball, you know all those girls games that boys play over there), at last there is a ray of sunshine. This one. Up there. Smiley bloke.

He has just come out and this is how he described the experience:

‘No one wants to live in fear. I’ve always been scared of saying the wrong thing. I don’t sleep well. I never have. But each time I tell another person, I feel stronger and sleep a little more soundly. It takes an enormous amount of energy to guard such a big secret. I’ve endured years of misery and gone to enormous lengths to live a lie. I was certain that my world would fall apart if anyone knew. And yet when I acknowledged my sexuality I felt whole for the first time.’

Can we get an amen? Can we just get some men, now we think about it?

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Rating: 10.0/10 (4 votes cast)

This is that crazy who thinks exercise stops you being gay. His glasses totally change colour when he steps outside.


This is that crazy who thinks excercise stops you becoming gay. His glasses totally change colour when he steps outside.

This is John Sullivan, another UKIP candidate whose deeply held beliefs include homophobia, misogyny, and suspended ceilings.

In a series of deranged Facebook updates he likened gay rights activists to ‘termites’, said feminism is ‘evil’, and homosexuality ‘even worse’, which was generous of him.

He went on to say the only way of preventing homosexuality was vigorous exercise, which apparently releases the ‘tension’ that causes gayness. We love tension, don’t you? You can slice through it down most gym changing rooms with a lily-white towel.

John Sullivan is standing for election on 2nd May; The Forest of Dean is the one he’s after. Poor bastards.

Oh, and talking of someone who didn’t exercise away the gay… (more…)

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Rating: 9.7/10 (3 votes cast)

This man got bitten by a crocodile. That’s all well and good, we’re just interested in bumming.


This man got bitten by a crocodile. That's all well and good, we're just interested in bumming.

Welcome to Yoann Galeran, a French fisherman who was attacked by a crocodile in Australia’s Northern Territory last week. The croc got him in a headlock, then proceeded to do what is known in show business as the ‘death roll’. Yoann lived to tell the tale to some local newspaper, Broadchurch style-y.

But that’s all pounds, shillings and pence to us. We’re far more concerned with the cut of his jib. By which we mean his penis.

Drop those hackneyed cut-off cargo shorts, Yoann, and take a bow!

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Rating: 10.0/10 (3 votes cast)

Stupid but touching. Cringe-making but goose-pimple-inducing. Hackneyed but somehow slightly lovely.

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

A timely reminder to look at James Middleton’s lazy-white ass.


A timely reminder to look at James Middleton's lazy-white ass.

James Middleton is bumming professional social climber, Donna Air, formerly off-of that zoo bloke.

James Middleton – who is 26 going on wizened – met Donna Air after she picked him out of Forbes’ biannual ‘Who To Shag If You Want To Get On’ list, which Tatler readers wouldn’t even use as a Tena Lady.

James Middleton – here seen in a blue suit probably from somewhere – and Donna Air – who is wearing her blonde hair in a centre parting that goes up, then left a bit, then right, sharp left, right, left, right – spent last night at LouLou’s, a club for West London cunts.

The pair then whisked across Waterloo Bridge even though it was in entirely the wrong direction to an undisclosed location where Donna proceeded to bounce gold pennies off James Middleton’s arse, as seen here.


A timely reminder to look at James Middleton's lazy-white ass.

Oh, and if you want a little somethin’ from the front, click on that ‘read more’ button…

(more…)

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Rating: 6.9/10 (8 votes cast)