Here is Sir Gerald Howarth, MP for the fine constituency of Aldershot, and a former defence minister into the bargain, wearing protective Reactolite Rapide glasses in case a member of the aggressive homosexual community – who have been known to tut audibly and, in some saddening, sickening cases, roll their eyes – decides to go for him. Well, it’s the defence background. Safety first and all that.
He was speaking at yesterday’s Tory attempt to derail the equal marriage bill in Her Majesty’s Houses of Parliament by arguing that members of the entirely-non-aggressive heterosexual community should be able to have civil partnerships as well or else it wasn’t fair, overlooking the fact that civil partnerships were invented in the first place as a second-class marriage for second-class gays, so why would a straight person want one anyway? But let’s not let facts or information or common sense stand in the way of a top frothing session.
Reacting to a lesbian Tory who said that gay rights legislation had ‘leveled the playing field’ (leave it to a lesbian to use a sports term!), Sir Gerry said: ‘I warn her…’ which is very aggressive behaviour from someone so afraid of the aggressive homosexual community, especially as she’s a lesbian and lesbians are not above glassing people outside pubs…
‘I warn her, I fear the playing field is not being leveled. I believe the pendulum is swinging so far the other way…’ We do love a swinging pendulum! ‘And there are plenty in the aggressive homosexual community…’ Doesn’t a thrill just run through you at the very idea? ‘…Who see this as but a stepping stone to something even further.’
Something even further? What might that be? The beheading of the One Million Moms? The closing down of British Home Stores? The sacking and pillaging of Garfunkels restaurants the length and breadth of the country? No more Midsomer Murders?
Who knows what the aggressive homosexual community will do next? Whatever it is, you better sleep with one eye open, straightie.
Are you a member of the aggressive homosexual community? Sir Gerald Howarth MP would like to know.,