This man with the slightly feminine hair is Bryan Fischer – Anal Fissure to his friends – of the American Family Association, you know, those nice people who believe in Jesus even though Jesus doesn’t believe in them whose off-shoot are the Million Cunty Moms, who at the last count numbered 76.
Anyways, Anal, it turns out is a font of knowledge when it comes to history. He knows things even historians don’t know. That’s how clever he is.
And seeing the Boy Scouts of America (or Boy Sodomisers of America as he prefers to call them as he has gay sex on the brain) march in the Gay Pride Parade in Utah just happened to remind him of Hitler Youth, you know the Nazi organisation the last Pope was a member of.
And so he has decided to take to the airwaves with Scott Lively, the man who thinks the Holocaust didn’t happen, to discuss how bad gay people really are and how all of history’s worst crimes were committed by men taking it up the back pooper. Naughty gays.
Up for discussion will be subjects such as how the Nazis put tens of thousands of gays to death in concentration camps just to cover themselves so no one would ever find out they were gay themselves (maybe they were just old Grindr shags they were ‘blocking’. How about that for an argument?); how they used the Hitler Youth to recruit boys (oh, because this was before Grindr, wasn’t it? Or was it? Anal? What do you say?) and how the 1994 Rwandan genocide was actually caused by gays not centuries-old tribal rivalries.
In next week’s lesson: how gays were responsible for the Tsunami and how actual used condoms were found in the detritus washed up on the shores of Malaysia (or somewhere, let’s not get picky with facts here); how the Spanish Armada only failed because everyone was felching down in the hold and how the French Revolution was caused by a gay eaten up with envy over Marie Antoinette’s lambs on ribbons. Compelling, isn’t it?
The Nazis were a homosexual organisation, the Boy Scouts of America are Hitler Youth and other things you didn't now about history,