Thanks to this man – a Pope! – priests may no longer bugger 12-year-old boys – or girls! – within the confines of the Vatican, a country actually smaller than Alton Towers. Phew, right? A weight off everyone’s mind.
He, Pope Francis, the man who likened gay adoption to child abuse (did you hear about that, Elton? You who wrote about what a nice man and a force for good he was in Italian Vanity Fair? Tell your adopted kids later about how they’re being child-abused. Well, the Pope should know child abuse when he sees – and ignores – it) has outlawed sex with low-teens. Outlawed it, we say.
Anyway, anyway, while he was making the age of consent 18 (not clear if it’s the same for gay and straight… oh, silly. Gay is still against the law anyways, whatever the age), he also made it illegal for whistle-blowers to report Vatican business to the press. Nice. Humble. A whole new breath of fresh air etc.
Frankly, we propose the dismantling of St. Peter’s and the returning of the marble to the Coliseum from whence it came.
Sex with 12-year-olds now illegal in the Vatican shock!,