In the first in a series, we ask our favourite people about their first times. Today, Sharleen from Texas, whose new single, ‘Detroit City’ is out *checks watch* now! See the video up there. Read this down here.
My First Celebrity Crush
Jack Wild in H.R. Pufnstuf and the Artful Dodger. I was a kid. I was literally like, ‘You’ve got a top hat and a fucking tail-coat, I’m on you. I’m all over you!’ And he could pick a pocket or two.
My First Porno
The Stud, if you count that. But you don’t see anything. You don’t see cocks, just a load of tits. I remember the bit where the door opens in the limousine and Joan Collins is wearing a see-thru bra and pants and a fur coat and just thinking, ‘Oh, that’s kind of fucking hot, innit? That’s to be practiced.’
My First Contact With Celebrity
Steve Davis the snooker player when he was absolutely massive. My little cousin was the biggest Steve Davis fan and he was too scared to go up so I went up with a pen and said, ‘Excuse me Mr. Davis is there any way you could sign this for my little cousin?’ And he went, ‘Fuck off!’ I must have been about 12. I felt about two inches tall.
My First Drunken Shame
I’ve never done drunken shame. I’m too controlling. I get nuts but I’ve never done anything that’s shameful. It’s not in my DNA to do something like getting my tits out.
My First Pet
An old English sheep dog called Lady. My parents ended up giving her to a local farmer. It broke my heart. Every time the Dulux advert came on I’d be [crying] ‘That’s my dog!’
My First Job
My first job was as a Saturday girl in a hairdressers. I had to sweep up the hair and shampoo and take the towels round to get them washed and tumble dried in bin bags. Then I got a job as a Saturday girl in a trendy salon and loved it. They had Katharine Hamnett boiler suits as the uniform. They fucking did!
My First Love
My daughter. You think you’re in love till you have a child and then you go, ‘Oh, THAT’S love!’ The difference is it doesn’t matter if they love you, you still love them.
My First Heartbreak
There was a boy at school called Derek and I used to really like him as a pal and I thought he really liked me then one day he turned to me and said, ‘You know your mate Isabelle? I really like her. Do you think she would go out with me?’ The devastation! That was my first heartbreak.
My First Illegal Substance
A tab of acid up the park with a guy who was a couple of years older than me at school and we ran into the police on the way back and one of the police was the son of one of the friends of my mum and dad and I was like [panicking] ‘He’s going to recognise me! My parents are going to kill me!’ And that was it. I just remember lying on the grass, a load of us, listening to the radio. It was nice with the clouds and everything, a bit spacey but I never did it again.
My First Inkling I Was Famous
I don’t think I’ve had it yet. I still do stupid things like a couple of weeks ago I was driving along and this woman yells, ‘Sharleen!’ and I’m like, ‘Hi!’ thinking, ‘How do I know you?’ I forget.
My First Celebrity Tantrum
I don’t think I’ve had one. I’ve definitely never done ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ I’m more of a ‘Stick it up your arse’ person. We once walked off a French TV show. It was a Christmas special and they wanted people dressed in Victorian costume to skate round us. And they had our drummer up on a little snow mountain. It was so not us. The director was, ‘You’ll never work in France again!’
My First Time
The first time I had sex? Really, do you honestly think I’m fucking interested in sharing that with anyone? I didn’t even want to share that with myself.
Sharleen from Texas: My First Time. Exclusive interview!,