Is this man an insufferable whore, an insufferable user, an insufferable closet, or all three?


Gruesome twosome

The one on the right is former straight married man Calvin Klein. The one on the left is his non-gay boyfriend. Can you slap two people at the same time? We’d be prepared to try.

Nick Gruber (the ‘boyfriend’) has been in… let’s call it an altercation at a party attended by a gay porn star cum porn director (who had bought a VIP tent – well, whywouldn’tcha?) in the slightly gay resort of Fire Island. According to said gay porn star cum director, Nick Gruber is not very nice in the VIP rooms of gay porn stars cum directors at parties on slightly gay islands. And we quote said gay porn star cum director thus:

‘I saw this arrogant guy who was being rude to people, shoving two guys away after they bumped into him. I heard him say, ‘Keep your hands away from me! I’m straight!’ I went up to him and he said, ‘I am straight and I don’t want any gay people to touch me!’ I said, ‘You’re leaving.’ He said, ‘Do you know who I am?’ I had security haul him away. Then someone explained to me that this is the ex boyfriend of Calvin Klein, and he just ‘came out’ as ‘straight’.’

When interviewed by the esteemed Michael Musto, Nick used what really is the oldest, tiredest, slack-arsedest, lazy-bottomest tale in the whole gay book. Asked why he found it important not to be seen as gay, he said… ‘Because that’s false information. I don’t believe in labels, I believe in what my heart tells me I love. If people say, “What are you?” I say, “I’m not gay. I’m straight, but I believe in love.”’

We think he also believes in… let’s just call them ‘opportunities’.

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One comment to “Is this man an insufferable whore, an insufferable user, an insufferable closet, or all three?”

  1. ALL THREE + he’s FUGLY!!!

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