Did you know that Madeleine McCann is still missing? Such is France’s anguish that they have named a sugary treat after her. All publicity’s good publicity!
And this is the e-fit, ladies and concerned, of the man who police now think nicked Maddie while her parents were on the piss in a slap-up tapas bar on the Algarve.
*squeezes Maddie’s teddy, patent pending*
Remarkably, like some men we could mention, the suspect has not one but two faces. In one of them, the work experience over at The Met clearly ran out of Crayola, went out to the snouting pen and, in a twist of events that spookily mirror the disappearance of Maddy Mac Daddy, never came back. Surely a matter for the police!
This suspect, who is making a cameo on Crime Watch this evening (don’t mock. As every jobbing turn knows you’ve got to start your career somewhere), is described as ‘white, aged 20 to 40, has short brown hair, is of medium build and height, clean-shaven, and may speak German.’
Which narrows it down to 173 million, maybe more if you grow out that beard.
Fancy missing off that much chin! There could've been a whole Maddie in there!,