This gennelman is *asks Dad* Clayton Blackmore who is *asks workie* a footballer who played for *asks the moon* Manchester United during the *checks watch* 1980s, a happy time when you wouldn’t immediately switch off your TV after Saturday Superstore had finished and rush out to go shoplifting for Flying Saucers and glitter pens at the Arndale Centre because, ladies and germs, back then chances were you’d see a bit of cock on the all-pissing-afternoon football shows during their in-depth behind the scenes interviews.
Memories really do light the corners of our penises.
Anyway, it turns out we weren’t the only ones flicking off to Match of the Day when we were knee-high to Clayton Blackmore’s pop socks. David Beckham has admitted he was put through a sexual initiation ceremony – we believe they call it ‘hazing’ but we wouldn’t be so bold – when joining the Manchester United Youth Team, the Sylvia Young of all football youth teams, back in, oh, whenever he says his youth was.
‘Everyone had an initiation that you had to go through on the youth team, that was one of the most uncomfortable ones!’ he told Metro.
‘The fact that I had to look at Clayton Blackmore’s calendar and do certain things, while looking at Clayton Blackmore…’
We’re so turned on we’re slipping right out of our designer-imposter poly-blend Manchester United shorty-shorts into something far more smart for town.