This is Her Majesty’s Home Secretary. What a fucking mess!


Nasty put some clothes on!

You are a 57-year-old woman, slightly overweight, thinning hair and a nick on your finger. You are also the Home Secretary of the United Kingdom, including Northern Ireland and Some Odd Bits of Islands All Over the Place.

The occasion: The Lord Mayor’s Banquet, one of the most glittering occasions of the political year. So, what shall we go as? Well, seeing as we have shoulders – at least two of them, even though there’s meat there enough for four – we will wear a shoulderless dress, a dress the Daily Cunt described as ‘an elegant shoulderless dress’, though they may not have got all the spelling right. And let’s team that with a nice cheap gold-coloured necklace from Claire’s Accessories to draw the eye. Oh and a silver bracelet because silver and gold always went together so well.

And we can’t help the nick on our finger but what we will do is paint our other stumpy fingernails bright red just to draw attention to the whole finger area. And the hair? Oh, I’ll just put a brush through. No need for styling there.

Last week, Theresa May, who made her name for wearing kitten heels, insisted she wasn’t the new Cara Delevigne. Oh, really? Now, listen, nasty: put some bloody clothes on.

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Rating: 8.9/10 (8 votes cast)

This is Her Majesty's Home Secretary. What a fucking mess!, 8.9 out of 10 based on 8 ratings

More dolly #content:

4 comments to “This is Her Majesty’s Home Secretary. What a fucking mess!”

  1. She looks fine.
    No doubt you will tell me that I lack sense of humour – but if having sense of humour means making fun of people’s looks, well, yes, I can live without one.

    Coming from a society where women are condemned for not covering their hair, I appreciate the choice and freedom afforded to women here.

    To me, you come across nasty and vicious.
    You remind me of the society that I had fled from. The same society that would not tolerate homosexuals.

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    Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)
  2. Come on: bitch looks a mess. Fair comment.

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    Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes cast)
  3. She’s a Tory MP. It’s her job for the likes of us to comment on her.

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    Rating: 3.4/5 (5 votes cast)
  4. She’s only working it. Those dirty old MPs, Labour and Tory and the other one, love a bit of a dolled-up lady look

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