Not since Gore Vidal ripped Norman Mailer a new arsehole has all of Manhattan been so a-buzz over a couple of prize cunts.
Or, if you like your analogies even gayer, not since Shirley Brown and Barbara Mason were schtuppin’ the same man has a musical feud gripped us just so.
And it goes something like this:
Until today we’d never heard of Micky Worthless so it’s already a lose-lose situation. Micky Worthless is apparently a ‘battle rapper’. Good for you, dear.
James Arthur is one of the reasons language was invented in order that we may ridicule him.
What happened was…. oh, the former made a really shit rap about the latter so the latter responded with an even shitter rap about the former. We’re so bored we’re actually writing this with our boobs.
Both used homophobic language, for which we’re up in arms. All of them.
Micky Worthless’s is this one, which would be good if it was just Anita Ward singing ‘You Can Ring My Bell’, but it’s not. It’s Micky Worthless saying things like ‘You’re a fucking faggot’ over Anita Ward’s ‘You Can Ring My Bell.’ We know which version Anita Ward prefers.
James Arthur’s is this one. It’s just the bit that consists of James Arthur saying ‘You probably want to put your stinky dick in me you fucking queer’. We’d try and find the rest but we’re too busy looking for somewhere to put our powder-fresh penises.
In conclusion, ladies need to get a room.
Oh ps. James Arthur has, in these last minutes, apologised profusely. With much profuse. It’s the ctrl-C-ctrl-V of profuse apologies.
Wanker vs Wanker,