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Apropos of nothing by which we mean absolutely everything, here is Ben Cohen and Ben Cohen’s VPL.

Apropos of nothing by which we mean absolutely everything, here is Ben Cohen and Ben Cohen's VPL.

We’re busy slipping off our designer-imposter New Years Eve somewhere we really ought to be showing off about as we speak.

Oh, no idea who the other guy is but yeah, why not.

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Rating: 9.4/10 (12 votes cast)

Selfie du jour

In public! Honestly! Some people!

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Rating: 6.6/10 (19 votes cast)

13 songs we have loved in 2013

1. Same Love – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Mary Lambert (OK, so it was 2012 but we tend to avoid anything that could be labelled ‘rap’ which is why we were late to this particular party)

2. Loved Me Back to Life – Celine Dion (the sealion came good with a Sia song about being in a coma).

3. Get Lucky – Daft Punk (it was clearly all about Nile Rogers though).

4. Blurred Lines – Robin Thicke (and no, we didn’t find the video sexist. Those girls weren’t being whorey, they were just enjoying their own nudity)

5. I Hope You Find It – Cher (a Miley Cyrus song! Well, one she bought and paid for previously).

6. Kacey Musgraves – Follow Your Arrow (love country, love Kacey, love her ‘gay anthem’).

7. Hello Stranger – Julia Holter (oh, you’re impressed now, aren’t you?).

8. Royals – Lorde (so much cooler than Lana del Rey).

9. Don’t Save Me – Haim (we do like a girl group. They’re no Supremes, but who is in this day and age? Hmmm?).

10. One More Sleep – Leona Lewis (it was our dirty little secret from halfway through October. And we still can’t learn the lyrics. They are impossible to learn. Scientifically impossible).

11. Believe in Me – Bonnie Tyler (Eurovish. Robbed as usual).

12. Beautiful – Mariah Carey (if only for the video where it looks like she has scabies and just. cannot. find. relief).

13. Anything by Hayden Panettiere from Nashville (well, you know how we feel about country).

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Those official Christmas messages in a nutshell (so you can get on with your drinking)

Busy tree!

The Queen, luminous and on-trend in yellow, spoke of her new great-grandson, Prince Baby George, and how children ruin everything. Honestly! Look at the state of these button-holes. You cannot get a pre-teen to do a decent button-hole.

The Pope asked us to remember at this festive time of year that shepherds can be really hot.

Dr. Welby MD (or whatever our one is called) reminded us that even after 2,000 years of fucking everyone over, Christians still feel as if they are the victims.

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Christmas Jukebox: Mariah Carey

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Rating: 9.3/10 (3 votes cast)

And here it is, Merry Christmas!

Hands up!

And, no, of course we didn’t get up early and post this, we pre-loaded it. You don’t think we had a drink last night? You don’t think we’re whizzing off somewhere glamorous this morning?

So, have a nice time, peoples. Eat, drink, be merry (it comes with the drink). And don’t do anyone we wouldn’t do!

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Talking of Richard Branson…

Talking of Richard Branson...

We love Richard Branson and Richard Branson’s hair. And his moustache and his planes and his avuncular manner. That cola he did was a bit shit though, eh.

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Rating: 9.0/10 (9 votes cast)

The father changed his name to RocknRoll (no spaces) so what did you expect?

The father changed his name to RocknRoll (no spaces) so what did you expect?

Kate Winslet, who certainly has a go at acting, has popped out another one to add to the ones she’s already got. The father is the nephew of Richard Branson and is, following changing his name by deed poll to Ned RocknRoll, a contradiction in terms.

This new one is called Bear.

Now unless its first name is Paddington or Pooh and he is *checks notes* Paddington or Pooh Bear, a child should never be called Bear. Not even in jest.

But no need to fear it getting the piss ripped out of it because children called Bear don’t go to your common or comprehensive schools and besides, other children called Apple, Romeo and Crunch Biscuit don’t have a leg to stand on.


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Rating: 7.7/10 (6 votes cast)