Who needs 5:2 when you’ve got a Men’s Health fluffer with a bronzing stick.


Who needs 5:2 when you've got a Men's Health fluffer with a bronzing stick.

This is Alex Mytton. He is off-of Made In Chelsea. So far, so cunty.

What stands between the hideous chunks you see on your left and the tip-top starlet with a burgeoning selfie obsession on your right is Men’s Health, itself a miracle of the magazine world.

Over the course of four – yes, four! – weeks, Alex followed a rigorous diet of dieting and a grueling fitness regime full of gruel to gain a bikini body fit for the pages of Britain’s leading *checks press release* men’s health magazine.

‘I stuck to liquor,’ he revealed, as the Men’s Health make-up artist wiped excess bronzer off her brush and onto Alex’s kitten-soft cotton trackies, just to the right of his penis.

‘It gives you better results than guzzling beer.’

*makes a note of that*

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Who needs 5:2 when you've got a Men's Health fluffer with a bronzing stick., 9.0 out of 10 based on 2 ratings

More dolly #content:

2 comments to “Who needs 5:2 when you’ve got a Men’s Health fluffer with a bronzing stick.”

  1. I would weep publicly if I could magically have the body in the BEFORE photo — just saying. More than good enough for me!

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  2. I find that if you light a person from the side, you get shadow to emphasise any muscles there may or not be while if you light him (and take the picture) front on, you just get what looks like an expanse of body. Are those two pictures really that different when you take into account the amount of holding in that’s going on in number two?

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