The Queen, luminous and on-trend in yellow, spoke of her new great-grandson, Prince Baby George, and how children ruin everything. Honestly! Look at the state of these button-holes. You cannot get a pre-teen to do a decent button-hole.
The Pope asked us to remember at this festive time of year that shepherds can be really hot.
Dr. Welby MD (or whatever our one is called) reminded us that even after 2,000 years of fucking everyone over, Christians still feel as if they are the victims.
Those official Christmas messages in a nutshell (so you can get on with your drinking),