‘Kylie is back on the dancefloor!’ says the press release! ‘Even shits don’t give a shit!’ say we

That's interesting

Diminutive (for ‘diminutive’ read ‘freakishly undersized’) pop star (for ‘pop star’ read ‘someone who is famous for nothing in particular, certainly not her singing ability’) Kylie (for ‘Kylie’ read ‘silly old tart who ought to know better’) has a new record coming out.

*tumbleweed can’t even be bothered to roll across the street*

The single is called… Oh, shall we just stop here? The Into the Blue thing is all the clue you’re going to get (Yes, it’s called ‘Into the Blue’ – we can hardly contain our indifference!) It’s going to be in March. It’s going to be the same old nonsense. She’s going to spend the whole series of The Voice bigging it up.

We who have met her on several occasions would hereby like to state that she is small and stupid, like a younger (but not much younger) Joan Collins. Without all that talent.

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Rating: 3.8/10 (12 votes cast)

'Kylie is back on the dancefloor!' says the press release! 'Even shits don't give a shit!' say we, 3.8 out of 10 based on 12 ratings

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6 comments to “‘Kylie is back on the dancefloor!’ says the press release! ‘Even shits don’t give a shit!’ say we”

  1. Did you hear her on Chris Evans this morning? Not live, naturally. Phoned in. Anyway…

    Chris: So, if you turned up to The Voice when you started singing at the age of 17, would you turn around for you?
    Kylie: Erm, I hope I would.
    Chris: But would you?
    Kylie: Erm, well, erm, I was 17 so I didn’t have, the, erm, experience I have now…

    I think the phrase you were looking for is ‘the voice’, Kylie. You didn’t have ‘the voice’. Still don’t.

    ‘The talent’ would also work instead of ‘the voice’.

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  2. Silly cunt. Honestly. Does anyone even remember who she is?

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    Rating: 2.0/5 (6 votes cast)
  3. Give it up love. Nobody cares.

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    Rating: 1.8/5 (5 votes cast)
  4. Wow you really know how to hold a grudge. Bless

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  5. Call it a day love.

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  6. She’s got a new range of coats coming out this year.

    They’re single breasted.

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