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And in today’s breaking people bending over news…

Lie steady

This guy here.

And that concludes today’s breaking people bending over news…

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Rating: 9.9/10 (12 votes cast)

While we wait for a famous to do something with their penis, let’s look at this picture of Her Maj The Queen.

While we wait for a famous to do something with their penis, let's look at this picture of Her Maj.

Isn’t she just? And she’s wearing a couple of diamond brooches (the other one’s a victim of picture croppin’) given to her by her parents – that’s King George VI and Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother to you! – for her 18th birthday. The pearls could be anyone’s.

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Rating: 8.6/10 (9 votes cast)

And in today’s breaking swimwear news…

And in today's breaking swimwear news...

Josh Kennedy, Aussie Rules, hands behind head.

And that concludes today’s breaking swimwear news.

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Rating: 8.4/10 (9 votes cast)

Louis Tomlinson, all dolly of him.

Louis Tomlinson, all dolly of him.

This is Louis Tomlinson off-of *checks notes* One Direction during his glittering debut for Doncaster Rovers, who could be anything.

Hundreds of thousands of screaming morons turned up to watch Louis Tomlinson off-of One Direction, which must’ve been really lovely for other members of Doncaster Rovers.

The result was 0-0, whatever that means.

 

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Rating: 2.9/10 (8 votes cast)

Oh, you Guardian newspaper. Usually so poe-faced. Today quite funny on the Harriet Harman ‘Why won’t you say sorry for not being a paedophile enabler?’ hoo-ha

Cunts!
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Rating: 8.8/10 (8 votes cast)

His name is Scott Foley, he is off-of Scandal, he is in a towel, and it is green.

His name is Scott Foley, he is off-of Scandal, he is in a towel, and it is green.

The towel is from a range called Charisma, and someone got paid to come up with that name.

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Rating: 9.8/10 (6 votes cast)

We’ve not looked at John Terry’s Visible Penis Line for a while, so let’s resolve that right now.

We've not looked at John Terry's Visible Penis Line for a while, so let's resolve that right now.

Here he is, the perkiest penis in the Premiership. And that, ladies and germs, is alliteration in action.

*bobs a very deep curtsey*

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Rating: 6.1/10 (7 votes cast)

Are you into riding hot daddies? Then you need this handy accessory.

Ride 'em!
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Rating: 8.8/10 (5 votes cast)