We’re not ones to condone violence but in this one’s case, we’re prepared to make an exception. Especially now that she has a blunt bob. We might even be on hand to make tea.
Its name is Yikaterina and we’ve had it out with her before when her hair was a nice bright orange colour. There’s nothing you can tell Russians about style, and that’s a fact. They just have that je ne sais quoi, but we’re not sure what it is.
Anyways, in a screening of a Channel 4 documentary called Hunted (#hunted, tell your friends) that we saw last night, she appears as ring-leader of a group of Russian numbskulls who feel it is their God-given (and God featured large in the show) right to lure gays to apartments to humiliate them, make them come out on camera so that they lose their jobs and families in a retardedly homophobic country, then pour urine over them and beat them up. Maybe they’ll make them sodomise themselves with bottles just to up the fun. Maybe they will then disappear never to be heard of again, as in the case of one young man. This one here loves it. Such laughs! ‘Let’s ruin his life!’ she giggles while planning one such attack in what looks like a really lovely clean St. Petersburgh coffee shop.
Should you wish to see this in action (oh and at one point she taunts a gay man, saying, ‘Don’t you want to talk to a pretty girl?’ Who’s that then?), brace yourself for Hunted at 10pm on Channel 4 tomorrow, Wednesday. It’s not easy but it may just be necessary.
Also look out for the vile Russian Orthodox priest, so fat he can barely walk, with the smell of pre-teen pre-cum probably still on his rancid beard, talking about how sick homosexuality is and how it needs to be eradicated. According to the film-makers on hand to answer our questions, he was worried he’d come over as too liberal.
Lord Baby Jesus Christ would be so proud!
If you see this little bitch on your travels, feel free to punch her in her pudding face. Hard.,