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Oh, and Lisa Stansfield’s veil? It was her tribute to Equal Marriage. Not so bonkers after all.

Oh, and Lisa Stansfield's veil? It was her tribute to Equal Marriage. Not so bonkers after all.

For those of us not already 73 sheets to the balmy wind on Saturday night – as well as those who were – Lisa Stansfield did a little turn on the tellies. It was the National Lottery Show (listen, it’s a quick in-and-out and Bob’s your uncle, Fanny’s your cunt, you’ve hit the demographic that still plays All Woman on a loop) and Lisa sang a song from her new album, Seven. And all of Twitter and/or Manhattan was a-buzz over the loopy outfit she wore, notably the black veil.

Turns out, with some tip-top journalistic research also known as asking Lisa Stansfield outright when she turned up to Attitude’s 20th Birthday Do after, that it was her nod to equal marriage. For that, Stanners, we salute you. With all our hands.


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This old thing?

This old thing?

Ben Foden off-of rugby and Ben Foden’s wife, Mrs Foden, turned up to Mrs Foden’s bandmate’s birthday party – something about Saturdays? – this Saturday, dressed like they just stepped out of a child’s head.

It’s so difficult keeping up with popular culture. We don’t even know where to look.

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Homophobic cunt Amanda Platell in another cunty homophobic outburst shock. What a cunt.

Homophobic cunt Amanda Platell in another cunty homophobic outburst shock. What a cunt.

This weekend, while the gays ‘n’ chums of England, Wales and other glittering territories were rejoicing the legalisation of equal marriage, Amanda Platell – the Daily Mail’s go-to trout for paranoid hate-mongering, unless she’s getting a new face done then they’ll rope in Jan Moir – wrote a piece in which she reiterated her homophobia, but added a nice little caveat that read ‘no doubt I’ll receive a barrage of abuse for even admitting as much.’ Oh honey-monster, you didn’t even need to ask!

‘I wish them every happiness for the future, but that does not alter the fact that I still disagree with the concept of gay marriage’, said Platell, less writer, more fame-whore. ‘For surely the saddest legacy of the whole gay marriage debate is how it has brought about the most appalling bigotry — not against homosexuals, but against those who oppose the new law.’

Platell then goes on to describe those almost-dead bigots opposing equal marriage as ‘brave’, before hitting the Daily Mail’s CTRL+ALT+BBC button. ‘Our self-appointed Ministry for Political Correctness’ she wailed, almost drowning in her own cliches.

‘(Equal marriage) is not social progress, it’s a form of intolerance every bit as ugly as homophobia.’

Because straight Amanda Platell would know all about suffering from homophobia. You know, seeing as she’s a licensed dealer.

Because those opposing equal marriage, Bible For Dummies in hand, have suffered the indignity of beatings and oppression, of being viewed in the eyes of the law – until this very weekend – as second-class citizens.

Because legally, ladies, germs and Amanda, the fight for equality has been won in this land – the battle is now against those heavyset cunts who are absolutely convinced that they are better than gays, and if anyone disagrees with them they’ll just play the victim.

Oh but lest we forget, Amanda Platell is allowed to be homophobic because ‘all my friends are gay’. Yeah we know, all of them fondled us at a Whitehall dinner. Nice people!

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Kate O’Mara – fabulous on an international scale – o’ no more.

She had us at cheekbones.

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Selfie du jour

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To celebrate your Kate Bush tickets – or commiserate! – and gay marriage clicking in in the UK, here’s Kate and The Wedding List

Not her coolest moment or her best song but nice tits.

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Harry Judd, and Harry Judd’s bottom, on the cover of Attitude.

Harry Judd, and Harry Judd's bottom, on the cover of Attitude.

Harry’s one of the star turns toppin’ Attitude’s 20th Birthday issues. Kylie’s another one, but no-one wants to see that.

Oh and there’s a big ol’ Attitude 20th Birthday Bash in London’s glittering Somewhere In Central London tomorrow night. And yes, of course we are.


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‘Fifth of Britons would turn down invitation to gay wedding’. Who’d want those cunts there anyway?

'Fifth of Britons would turn down invitation to gay wedding'. Who'd want those cunts there anyway?

As of midnight tonight, gay people in England and Wales can get married without the authorities coming down on their lily-white asses. Or lily-black asses. Or lily-brown asses. You get where we’re comin’.

But in a poll of 1,007 people (count ’em!) for BBC Radio 5, which when we last checked could’ve been anything, a whole fifth of respondents said they’d turn down an invitation to a gay wedding. Which is pretty presumptuous if you ask us.

And of those, men were twice as likely to turn down the invitation as women, lest they get bummed during psalm 73.

59% – that’s almost 60%! – also believe that those opposing equal marriage should not be considered homophobic. It is not known whether this same 59% consider those who oppose mixed-race marriages as racist.

In conclusion, one fifth of Radio Five listeners (Jeeze Louise, even TENA can rope in more respondents) would only insist on a young child – high on Fanta, pigtails just so, sucking up all the attention in the room – dancing on their feet during the reception anyway.

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