‘Would period pain still exist if men got it?’ asks Lucy Mangan in the latest installment of her gripping and insightful ‘girls are better than boys, ner ner’ column in Stylist magazine.
Would period pain still exist if men got it? Well, headaches and colds and upset stomachs still exist and men get those so let’s assume that yes, it would. Besides, are men in charge of science? ‘Oi, Marie Curie, put the kettle on love, we’re doing some important science over here.’
‘If men had smears, do you think they’d ever hurt?’ she goes on, like a dog with a bone. Erm, any man who has been for a sexual health check-up and had an outside cotton bud poked down the very small hole in the end of his penis where nothing was ever supposed to go will tell you that we do have smears and they do hurt like buggery. Actually, they hurt worse than buggery. Hate to disappoint you on that score, Lucy. Or maybe we have delighted you! Besides, are there no women doctors? Has the country been taken over by the Taliban?
Seriously though, it’s this ‘only women bleed’ nonsense that leads to men going to the doctors 20% less frequently than women. Maybe it’s why so many men die of preventable cancers that could have been dealt with if only women like Lucy didn’t start shouting ‘man flu!’ every time a gentleman had the temerity to fall ill.
Lucy Mangan is outspoken... Ignorant but outspoken nevertheless,