Unsurprisingly, no one is asking Roger Helmer here to have gay sex.
Don’t know what it is about him. The Nazi spectacles? The grizzled yet wispy (hard one to pull off, that) moustache? Or maybe it’s the stench of everything that comes out of his mouth? Whatever it is, no one is pressing him for gay sex. And yet he can’t stop thinking about it. And talking about it. Hell, even The Sun called him a bigot and goodness knows they have form.
And yet this is the character that UKIP has decided should stand for election to Her Majesty’s House of Commons following the resignation of some dodgy Tory. That’s what nice people they are, just in case you were being won over by Nigel Farage’s boozily charming ways, Boris-style, like the people on Gogglebox (top tip when voting for politicians: find out what they think and don’t vote just because they seem like fun).
‘The homosexual lobby wants to be accepted as a “valid alternative lifestyle”,’ he said in a pamphlet ironically called Straight Talking on Europe (back when he was a Conservative). Funny, we never think of ourselves as ‘alternative’. We think of ourselves as ourselves. ‘I will argue homosexual behaviour is abnormal and undesirable.’
Oh, sorry to hear that.
'Homosexuality is distasteful if not viscerally repugnant,' says the man who UKIP is standing for election as a real MP,