Anything that pisses off Russians can’t be all bad. Which is why we salute Eurovision winner Conchita Wurst, even though the song was like something in the second act of an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical that closed in its third month.
But Russians – who joined Eurovision two years after Israeli transsexual Dana International won, let us not forget, so it’s hardly like anyone sprang anything on them – are up in arms. Mostly big flabby arms. Some of them have tattoos from the 90s like this one. And they are shaving off their beards in protest. Some of them didn’t even have beards but that didn’t stop them shaving them off. The same, unfortunately, is not true for many Russian women.
Russian Orthodox priests – who are just this far from carrying off the whole Conchita look what with the beards that they’re not shaving off and the frocks and the whole femmy thing – are incandescent. And not in a ‘Is it natural or is it Maybelline’ kind of way, either.
‘The process of the legalisation of that to which the Bible refers to as nothing less than an abomination is already long not news in the contemporary world,’ said someone high up in the church, like anyone reads the bible (lower case: it only means ‘book’!) anymore. ‘Unfortunately, the legal and cultural spheres are moving in a parallel direction, to which the results of this competition bear witness.’
Or maybe you people need to lighten up a little. It’s fricking Eurovish for God’s sake!
Retarded Russians are shaving their beards in protest at Conchita winning Eurovish. Sky falls in.,