Five reasons we think we’re over Helena Bonham Carter

Fabreze!

1. She knows and likes David Cameron. Yes, you know him as a pie-faced cunt but Helena Bonham Carter thinks David Cameron is ‘incredibly witty, incredibly bright and incredibly genuine.’ Honey, you’re either genuine or you’re not but pedantry apart, she even likes Samantha Cameron. ‘But actually both those people are immaculate. They have an amazing sense of humour and sense of proportion, and they are people to be taken seriously.’ We rest our Louis Vuitton case, m’lord. And it’s not a knock-off. OK, it is. Who would be so silly as to buy a real LV? Do we look like Lil Kim? Don’t answer that…

2. She’s married to Tim Burton, whose idea of movie making is bung everyone in lots of teenage-goth eyeliner and roll the cameras.

3. She only gets films because her husband is Tim Burton and never mind whether – as in the case of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street – she’s decades out on the age of the character and can’t sing for toffees. Even she didn’t bother going to see it.

4. She looks like she needs a bloody good wash. We don’t mind kooky clothes but they do need the occasional rinse through.

5. OK, we could only think of four.

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3 comments to “Five reasons we think we’re over Helena Bonham Carter”

  1. Are you being serious? She has every right to like David Cameron and you’ve taken her comments out of context. She’s also not married to Tim Burton and the majority of her filmography has NOTHING to do with him. You know nothing about Sweeney Todd if you think she’s too old, plus her singing was adequate.

    Oh, and she can dress however the hell she feels. Your lack of knowledge of Helena is not a reason to ‘be over’ her.

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  2. Until you find reason Number 5, I am not convinced… :-) Go on… just one more.

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  3. I read the whole interview and I didn’t think the comments were out of context. And she was totally shocking bad in Sweeney Todd, which was shocking bad in itself. Bearing in mind Angela Lansbury is the ultimate Mrs. Lovett, I think it’s fair to say she’s too young. There’s a whole song about retiring for goodness sake.

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