To you and us and millions of small children they are rubber bands that you can join together to make larger rubber bands. Creative! Colourful! Fun! To the Daily Mail they are harbingers of death and destruction. Well, that will be the ‘fun’ bit.
Just as no one can ever go out and have a quiet drink with friends without being a disgusting symbol of booze Britain and you can’t listen to Je M’Appelle Barbra on Spotify on your headphones on the bus without being a sign of the broken society (Julie Burchill once said that the Daily Mail lives in fear that somehow, somewhere a woman is having fun), even children are in mortal terror of their lives when they play with simple toys.
‘A doctor has urged parents to be vigilant…’ Unless they’re down the tapas drinking it up with their mates while they leave their children sleeping… ‘after a boy in Bristol fell asleep with the bands wrapped around his fingers.’ Not wrapped! Not around! Not his fingers! ‘His mother discovered his fingers were blue and removed the bands in time to restore his blood flow.’ Cheeeeeesus! And still not in prison! The country has gone to the dogs. We, obviously, blame immigration, gays and the Chiltern Firehouse.
But it will be alright. If we’re all very good and use anti-bacterial soaps and eat only Christian-approved baked goods.
The world of the Daily Cunt where even simple children's toys are the work of the devil/communists/gays/illegal muslim immigrants,