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Now *THIS* is the freaking Ice Bucket Challenge we’ve been waiting for… Donatella Versace!

Yeah, of course we’re over it, anyone’s who’s anyone is, but it’s Nutella, bitches!*

*Irony. We’re not retarded.**

**More irony, we’re not rude.***

***Not all the time.

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Rating: 7.8/10 (8 votes cast)

10 things you need to hear about last night’s Kate Bush show from someone who was actually there… did we mention that already?

1. It’s long. Nearly three hours long. That’s long.

2. She doesn’t sing a single song she sang the first time round. No ‘Wuthering Heights’, no ‘Man With the Child in His Eyes’, no ‘Wow’. Unbelievable, right?

3. She does very long theatrical bits from the second side of Hounds of Love (The Ninth Wave) and A Sea of Honey from Aerial, so if you’re going, listen to those bits. Quite a lot.

4. Everyone – every single one – respected the no photography rule (oh, except Lily Allen, because she is above – and yet somehow below – the law)

5. There is a helicopter, a life-size marine buoy, men dressed as fish, people with bird masks, an underwater room, some flying… yes, it’s out there.

6. Kate Bush may now be a bit of a dumpling but her voice is as gorgeous – more gorgeous? – than it’s ever been.

7. There are some comedy bits (that don’t really work that well…)

8. The merchandise is as bad as merchandise always is, though the £15 programme has its moments (but smells funny).

9. Her son Bertie appears as The Painter in the second half. Well, Rolf Harris, who plays the part on the record, is otherwise engaged.

10. She does the encore bit at the beginning: hits sung straight to the audience. Then, just when you think it’s a regular concert, it goes there…

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Rating: 8.2/10 (5 votes cast)

And while we think of more ways to show off about going to see Kate Bush tonight – and next Friday. We know! – here’s an entertaining video illustrating the likely effect of Equal Marriage in Ireland.

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Rating: 10.0/10 (5 votes cast)

And talking of the ice bucket challenge, here’s one celebrity who refused…Yes, refused!

Yes, Pamela ‘Pammy’ Anderson. The beloved.

And why would she not want a bucket of iced water (note that extra ‘d’ on ‘ice’, American friends) thrown over her barnet? Apart from the fact that it’s tireder than us after a night out at Horse Meat Disco? Because she’s looked into where the cash dollars are actually going and she ain’t too damn pleased about it. But let’s hear all about it from the horse’s mouth, as it were…

‘I enjoy a good dare,’ she says. She’s good people. She’s fun people. Of course she does. ‘It’s always good to bring awareness in fun, creative ways.’ We’re tidying up her punctuation a little here, by the way. ‘I don’t want to take away from that but it had me thinking. Digging a bit deeper, I found that we may not be aligned in our messages.’

What you may not know about Pammy is that she is an animal rights activist. Always has been. Even before it was smart.

‘So I thought instead I’d challenge ALS…’ which is ALS – or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis – where the money is going – ‘…to stop animal testing.’ Oh!

‘In recent experiments funded by the ALS Association, mice had holes drilled into their skulls, were inflicted with crippling illnesses, and were forced to run on an inclined treadmill until they collapsed from exhaustion. Monkeys had chemicals injected into their brains and backs and were later killed and dissected.’

She goes on to say that 92% of drugs tested on animals turn out not to work in the human tests that follow, meaning they’re not very effective, and that life-saving HIV treatments were developed using non-animal testing. They can do such clever things with computers these days.

‘Trying to cure human diseases by relying on outdated and ineffective animal experiments isn’t only cruel, it does a grave disservice to people who desperately need cures,’ she concluded, bobbing a perfect curtsey as she did so.

Go, Pammy!

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Rating: 9.0/10 (10 votes cast)

It’s that bloody Dan Osborne doing that bloody buggery Ice Bucket Bollocks while stark bollock naked.

We don’t know about you, but we donate to kittens anonymously.

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Rating: 10.0/10 (9 votes cast)

And in today’s sports news…

Steady

The pommel horse.

And that concludes today’s sports news…

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Rating: 8.3/10 (17 votes cast)

And in today’s breaking ridiculous underwear news…

Racy!

Thomas Huez in PetitQ.

And that concludes today’s breaking underwear news…

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Rating: 6.6/10 (20 votes cast)

Selfie du jour

His underwear is winging its way to a collector
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Rating: 2.8/10 (21 votes cast)