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Is ex-Apprentice judge Margaret Mountford just a tad homophobic? Could be?

Lesbian chic!

There we were, watching BBC1 at 9.15am (don’t you dare judge us! We work hard!), and on comes that nice lady who used to be on The Apprentice. You know the one. Lego hair. Sensible shoes.

Anyways, they have given her a hard-hitting series on littering: people who drop it, people who pick it up, people who… oh, you get the drift.

In this episode, which featured way too many close-ups on dogs’ mess by the way, MM looked at rubbish left at public events. Gay Pride, for instance. Apparently, people who go on these sort of things and leave their rubbish by the overflowing bins to be picked up by binmen are simply not comme il faut. Vandals, we think she called them. Even though, if you are one of half a million people with some rubbish and care to dispose of it sensibly withinside of a bin, as MM would like – DEMAND! – then, well, you’re screwed, bins being a rarity at the best of times.

But it was the general tone of Miss Margaret’s report that rankled. Especially the bit where she said that the binmen needed police protection to pick up the rubbish after Pride because they would get attacked otherwise.

Silly ill-informed, style-challenged woman. No one has ever been attacked at Gay Pride. Unless it was a gay man being attacked by a homophobe, that is.

So, gays, no more complaining that Pride never gets covered by the BBC. It does. If only to show what dirty, disgusting, violent degenerates you are.

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‘West End star (we’ll be the judge of that) Ronan Keating wants theatre’s front row moved back over fan mob fears’

Sweetie, no!
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Look at this highly hilarious spoof interview between James Franco and Zac Efron. Aren’t famous people hilarious!

We don’t know about you, but we have a fake laugh with James Franco and Zac Efron’s names all over it.

ps.

Sweetie, no!

 

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Now obvs we don’t condone violence towards women – not even Kylie Minogue! – but which of these would you rather give a hearty slap? (We know Bieber’s not a woman, but he is a cunt.)

Myleene Klass looking like a right cunt Justin Bieber looking like a right cunt

This is the hardest decision known to gay. We think it might be a matter for Question Time.

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Josh Duhamel in a wetsuit. Ignore the baby, they get more than enough airtime.

Josh Duhamel in a wetsuit. Ignore the baby, they get more than enough airtime.

Doesn’t look like an awful lot going on in the penis area or thereabouts, but he’s a multi-millionaire so just how many fucks do you think he gives? Besides, we all know how a wetsuit has a habit of flattening, like so.

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A small dog in a teddy bear outfit hits the treadmill. That is all.

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Jake Quickenden in his nude

Grow up!

How can someone so cute be such an irritant? Is it the ridiculous tattoos? A heart around your nipple? Seriously?

Or is it the fact that he is convinced of his attractiveness to such an extent that it actually starts to cancel out that attractiveness? Whatever it is, he is working our reserve nerve on I’m A Celebrity… Get Ant ‘n’ Dec Out of There!

Anyways, here he is with some, erm, rings for Cosmopolitan magazine and cancer and stuff. Oh and he says he has a small penis. Doesn’t matter. He’s clearly a total bottom anyway. A big, fat, tired, lazy, irritating one.

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Who wants to see the trailer for the new Jurassic Park movie? *screams*

Doesn’t seem like much of a re-brand, following the previous disaster, does it? From Jurassic Park to Jurassic World, but someone will buy it. Oh, and aren’t people getting more attractive. Now, Chris Pratt is a scientist!

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