Tight trousers that show off the contours of a gentleman’s penis – such as these worn by Peter Berlin in the film Die Peter Berlin Story (which could mean anything) – are a gay conspiracy to make straight men show us what they’re packing.
That’s the conclusion of Anthony Morris III (so good they named him three times), head of the governing body of the Jehovah’s Witnesses, who really ought to get on with his work and stop thinking about men’s bulges.
‘For these young fellas…’ he says (we love ‘fellas’: so casual, so down-with-the-kids) ‘… ‘Cause the older ones aren’t doing much of it thankfully, it’s the metrosexual look we’ve addressed that in the past. The tight suit jacket and the tight pants. Better known as tight pants…’ Erm, losing your concentration a bit there Anthony Morris III, mind back on the job and off the bulges, please. ‘They are tight all the way down to the ankles. It’s not appropriate. It’s not sound of mind. The homosexuals that are designing these clothes, they’d like you in tight pants.’
Too right! *goes back to designing sheer trousers with a zip up the back for the man in the street*