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Isn’t it funny when you interview a celeb and they very patronisingly tell you how you don’t understand all about marriage. Then, four months later…

There's a moose loose aboot this hoose

Here is ex-model Jodie Kidd off-of posh and horsey and big and, well, horsey. She got married in August. What a lovely thing! Not her first marriage, but you know, hey, right?

When we spoke to her about the upcoming event, she gave us one of those slightly pitying ‘You’ll know when you meet the right person’ looks. You know the ones.

‘I didn’t think I was going to get married again, but David has reaffirmed how I feel about marriage,’ she told us. Oh, really? And how is that, Jodie? ‘I understand how important it is for family…’

And how important is multiple divorce for family, Jodes?

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Watch grotty little Gay Byrne squirm as Stephen Fry crushes his tiny little mind.

Hashtag atheism, kids. It’s the future.

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‘Uptown Funk’ versus ‘Upside Down’. Guess who comes out on top?

Will it be San Francisco lesbian, Bruno Mars? Or mistress of all she surveys, Miss Diana Ross?

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Selfie du jour XXX

Rudery!

Too racy for a pretended family newspaper/website? If so, visit the more un-pretended-family-friendly version over the jump… (more…)

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And in today’s sports news…

Blue and orange! Not afraid of colour!

Cycling. In bright colours!

And that concludes today’s sports news…

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We interrupt this program for some very-wise-words-indeed from Benedict Cumberbatch.

We interrupt this program for some very-wise-words-indeed from Benedict Cumberbatch.

Benedict Cumberbatch, currently to be seen on your moving screen playing Alan Turing, among the most important people who ever lived but who was chemically castrated by his country (the UK) when his country (still the UK) was run by utter cunts (some things never change), has joined a campaign to quash historic convictions under section 11 of the Criminal Law Amendment Act 1885, which saw 50,000 men imprisoned and persecuted because they were gay. The law was overturned in 1967, but the convictions remain.

‘Alan Turing was not only prosecuted, but quite arguably persuaded to end his own life early, by a society who called him a criminal for simply seeking out the love he deserved, as all human beings do.

‘Sixty years later, that same government claimed to ‘forgive’ him by pardoning him. I find this deplorable, because Turing’s actions did not warrant forgiveness – theirs did – and the 49,000 other prosecuted men deserve the same.’

Stick him on a tenner, we say. Oh, so does Stephen Fry!

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And in today’s breaking underwear news…

And in today's breaking underwear news...

If you like wrapping your penis in a doily.

And that concludes today’s breaking underwear news.

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John Barrowman – star of stage, screen, c, and d – in the shower.

John Barrowman - star of stage, screen and similar - in the shower.

He’s crazy he is, and he also includes ‘MBE’ on his selfies. And his shower has a dado rail.

We’re sure there’s an aquatic moniker for the dado, but who do you think we are? The Real Housetrouts of Cheshire’s Dawn Ward?

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