1. It’s by Wes Anderson, one of the worst, most irritating and most pretentious directors operating today. Royal Tenenbaums? No, thanks. The Life Aquatic? We’d rather not, if you don’t mind.*
2. It’s one of those films where they get a million people to be in it. Even Tilda Swinton! Which is fun in a ‘Oh, isn’t that Su Pollard as the chambermaid?’ kind of way. But, no.
3. Far too much running around.
4. That idea of irony where everything is just really overblown and cartoony. Subtlety people, subtlety.
5. It’s all story and none of it matters.
*We have not seen The Grand Budapest Hotel, by the way. Because it’s directed by Wes Anderson.