Wanna know how much it pays being a talentless cunt? How about two talentless cunts?

Wanna know how much it pays being a talentless cunt? How about two talentless cunts?

Height, as they say, imitates talent. Just look at Ant ‘n’ Dec, the teeniest-tiniest people in all of television’s glittering show business. Even Kylie Minogue looks down someone else’s nose at them.

Described as a ‘comedy (we’ll be the judge of that) duo’, their career consists of jumping around back stage at god-awful talent shows like pygmies on amyl, while offering the sort of commentary that makes Alex Jones off-of The One Show look like Camille Paglia. For this, they never knowingly don’t win tip-top telly awards, mostly those voted for by eleven-year-olds with too may sims.

One of the shows they present is called Saturday Night Take Away. It is, ladies and germs, utter wank. And not in a good way. On it, the sort of people who send in photographs of themselves to Channel 4’s Sunday Brunch take part in hilarious games to try and win the shite they’re peddling during the ad breaks. It might be entertaining were it not for the fact that it’s not entertaining at all.

And their rewards plural for presenting said televisual night terror? £8.4million per year. Which is £700,000 a month. Which works out at £23,000 a day. Or £972.2 recurring per hour. Which comes to 16 of Her Majesty’s Golden Pounds per minute, which is more than some people earn in a lifetime. And that, pop-pickers, is the dirty price of mediocrity.

Oh, and if we’ve got any of those calculations a bit wrong, soz. We were too busy applying rouge in Ant and/or Dec’s forehead.

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5 comments to “Wanna know how much it pays being a talentless cunt? How about two talentless cunts?”

  1. Well I think they are great. I don’t watch BGT or their Saturday show, but have always liked them whenever I see them. They are hardworking, talented and funny. They have created a huge amount of revenue on all the shows they have helped create and have remained relevant on primetime TV for 20 years. If they don’t have any talent I fail to see how they will have achieved that. Nobody else has achieved what they have for so long. Also I love them on I’m a Celeb, they are hilarious, so fuck off with your sour grapes and maybe get you finger out and write something decent rather than your recent cut and paste Daily Mail bullshit of 2 articles a week or shut this dying page down. Used to be so good. Shame.

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  2. These two mini-pricks are about as funny as Michael McIntyre, who also sells out stadiums. There’s no accounting for taste, etc.
    And it’s hardly cut and paste now is it, Lord Delfont? Don’t ever recall reading anything like this on the Daily Mail, unless I’m missing something.

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  3. If they were truly funny & talented they wouldn’t be as popular, coz that’s scary for the masses who watch Saturday night telly whilst most clever people are out getting twatted and kissing boys.

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  4. Such a big fan that you don’t watch any of their output Lord Delfont. You have taste that you don’t even know about.

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  5. Lowest common denominator shite, that’s what they are. Look at all universally successful stuff – Take That, One Direction, Cilla – and it’s pretty much always utter crap.

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