Homophobia obviously runs at the highest levels at Her Majesty’s BBC as for the second year running there are no obvious gays in the Great British Bake Off line up. Surely a matter for the police! If not the European Court of Dolly Rights.
They are, from left to right, and we’re not counting the women for obvious reasons, some bloke who’s a househusband but takes pictures for the Dalai (pronounced ‘Dolly’) Lama – an no, not those sort of pictures even; some bloke who’s a nurse, who might be gay, we suppose; some bloke who’s a prison guard, so he may have had gay experiences; some bloke who’s a firefighter, who might be gay or at least a strippagram; some bloke who made his sister’s wedding cake (so our money’s kind of on him); some bloke in a hat who looks the part with his tattoos and nose ring but who apparently has a wife and two children, for some reason no one can quite explain. And that’s your lot.
They better be funny or have big bulges or be transitioning, that’s all we can say.