Firstly, anyone who’s under the impression that the current bag of dicks in charge of the Catholic Church is somehow kind and nice and cares about *checks notes* people is as deluded as said bag of dicks.
Take this meeting he just had with the nutter who runs the Russian Orthodox lot. It’s been a whole 1,000 years since the Catholic Church divided into two lots of crazy – one focussing its energies on bonnets that go like this, the other on bonnets that go like that. It’s the sort of effort that could go into finding cures for cancer, people – and this is the first time the two heads have come together, so not to speak, since.
It’s an historic time that could’ve been spent working out ways to get Ocado deliveries to old ladies, build pretty little houses for les homelesses and convince Cadbury to bring back the Crispello. Instead, these two handsome gennelmen – there’s your proof of God right there, kids! – took this opportunity to work on strategies to brainwash a few more million in the sorts of places you get Zika. That, and slagging off the gays and their dastardly same-sex unions some more. They even came up with this jazzy joint statement…
‘The family is the natural centre of human life and society. We are concerned about the crisis in the family in many countries.
‘The family is based on marriage, an act of freely given and faithful love between a man and a woman. It is love that seals their union and teaches them to accept one another as a gift. Marriage is a school of love and faithfulness.
‘We regret that other forms of cohabitation have been placed on the same level as this union, while the concept, consecrated in the biblical tradition, of paternity and maternity as the distinct vocation of man and woman in marriage is being banished from the public conscience.’
Honestly, can you imagine these cunts’ penises?