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Selling something, apparently.

S’German too. ‘Die App, die dich bewegt!’

Bit harsh.

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Tracey Emin marries French rock while wearing father’s funeral shroud. What a cock.

Sweetie, no!

#seriouslybabes

 

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That bloody buggery maths teacher chap: ‘I’m too beautiful to be taken seriously.’

That bloody buggery maths teacher chap: 'I'm too beautiful to be taken seriously.'

‘Member┬áPietro Boselli, the ‘World’s Sexiest Maths Teacher’ who did his sums while wearing muscle Ts? He’s only gone and got the new Armani campaign. But only Armani EA7, which is like showing off about going to Oxford Brookes.

‘I’m too beautiful to be taken seriously,’ he said to someone who then told someone else, in the way only an Italian would do.

Sweetie, no!

 

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Actually quite turned on.

Actually quite turned on.

Oh you know, just those notorious lefties Emma Thompson and Greg Wise in the nude posing with a fish to further their liberal agenda while sipping champagne and harping on about bloody socialism.

In conclusion, we’d probably sit on Greg’s face. While sipping champagne. We’re not complete animals!

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Those trousers have gotta go though

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Olly Murs: ‘I’m 20% gay.’ The bit that’s his penis, hopefully.

Olly Murs: 'I'm 20% gay.' The bit that's his penis, hopefully.

Olly Murs off the telly has admitted he’s a bit gay.

*makes a note of that*

‘Maybe 20%,’ he told The Sun. ‘I’ve got a lot of gay friends I get on with really well. Everyone’s got a bit of campness about them.’

Which is odd, because we’ve got lots of straight female friends we get on with really well whose lettuces we don’t have the slightest inclination to schtump. We’re also 100% same-sex oriented yet find the camp bit entirely optional.

We were, however, born a poor black child in the Brewster Projects of Detroit, Michigan before being spotted by an Ebony Fashion Fair talent scout at which our modelling career took off.

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YEY!

YEY!
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Nudity, you say?

This advert features Michael Phelps – who thanks the Lord Baby Cheeses every day for facial hair – in various states of nude. Some shots are, in fact, like looking in a mirror.

Absolutely no idea what it’s advertising, but since when did that matter in *checks notes* advertising?

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